“Jimmie Crapped Out”
By Kellyanne Lynch
23 March 2001

Disclaimer: This is all for fun! I am KIDDING!!! Yeah, this is true, but I know I'm being mean.

Summary: A NASCAR poem about qualifying at Bristol, which I wrote to pester my little sister

Author's Note: This is just a stupid little poem. Thought y'all might enjoy it. The beginning is inspired by a real song, though I don't know the name of it... or the words, but it was parodied in the movie "On The Line". You can sing it, if you want, (and if you can figure out the tune).

Author's Note #2: I'm not the only one who teases my sister by mocking Jimmie. My father's fond of whining "Jimmie Johnson!" in a nasal voice anytime the #48 driver comes up in conversation.

Author's Note #3: I just fixed the spelling of "pole", just for Christy Gordon ; ) See, I KNEW I should have had her beta-read this one too, before I posted it!!! Oh, and I should also note that Christy was ragging on me for calling Jimmie "Wonder Boy" when that's really JEFF'S designation. Jimmie gets referred to as "Wonder Boy" in this household though, when we're picking on my sister. For some reason, it's more fun to tease her about him than Jeff Gordon.

Dedication: This one's for my little sister, Colleen, who roots for Jimmie Johnson (aka "Wonder Boy") and Jeff Gordon.

Rating: PG

* Please e-mail matchbox20orbusted@yahoo.com with questions, comments, theories, complaints, or words of wisdom.

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Jimmie crapped out on his own
Jeff Gordon was disappointed
'til he got the pole
Petty came in right after Jim
And Martin made provisional
But Jimmie just hit the wall

Yeah Jimmie crapped out on his own
Jeff just whizzed right past him
And stole the show
Mikey may get his second win
Cause he qualified within top ten
But Jimmie won't sweep Bristol

Jimmie
Oh yeah poor Jimmie
He just crapped out
Jimmie
Oh yeah poor Jimmie
He crapped out on his own